“Kissing Kosher” is a Romeo and Juliet-type romance, but in Jean Meltzer’s seasoned hands, it’s much more. Meltzer is passionate about educating as many readers as she can about chronic illness and chronic pain. It seems a strange match for a romance, but we see how important it is for someone with chronic pain to find an understanding partner. And perhaps, true love conquers all? Including chronic illness and pain? In this novel, it feels as if Meltzer has shared more than usual about her inner feelings regarding the daily grind of living with chronic pain and its effect on career and personal relationships.
When Avi, as she is called, meets Ethan, she’s immediately attracted to him. He’s everything she’s wanted in a partner, even including the right amount of religious practice (observant but not rigid). But Ethan is hiding a secret—actually more than one secret—and we know that when those secrets are revealed, there will be drama.
Yet Ethan is also the most caring of individuals. In spite of an abusive childhood spent with an uncaring grandfather after the death of his parents, he’s kind and thoughtful. His grandfather hates Avital’s grandfather with a passion. Decades ago, they started a Jewish bakery together but had a horrible falling out. Now they are old and bitter, and they despise each other. Ethan is ordered by his grandfather to infiltrate the Cohen bakery to find the recipe for the Pumpkin-spice babka, their best-seller.
As in all of Meltzer’s books, we learn much about chronic pain and the devastation it wreaks on the lives of those suffering from it. Stress can make the pain worse, so the many who suffer from chronic pain and work full-time jobs where there might be a lot of pressure can really suffer. And the sad fact is that most people don’t really understand chronic pain and how destructive it can be for those suffering from it. Some might be unable to live with the pain, and too often, as Meltzer points out, doctors won’t prescribe enough pain medication to help. We’ve become so worried about creating addictions to pain medication that those who really need relief from suffering are unable to receive it. I’m sure that many reading this novel and this review understand, because many of us who don’t suffer chronic pain have been denied strong pain killers for temporary injuries. So those who suffer constant pain must find other ways to cope.
In this story, medical cannibis is featured as one way to deal with chronic pain. Meltzer also showcases the many different needs of individuals in terms of dietary restrictions. There are those who cannot tolerate gluten. There are nut allergies, and many, many other types of dietary restrictions.
But the lovely, touching part of this story is the bond that Avi and Ethan build. They learn from the rabbi who dispenses medical marijuana (from his dispensary named “Holy Roller”) that although Avi might not be able to enjoy traditional sex, more important is intimacy, trust, and the sharing of feelings. There’s also an exploration of how trauma, both physical and emotional, can lead to serious psychological problems that must be dealt with. On many levels, Avi and Ethan can relate because each has experienced significant trauma.
I asked the author about the fact that this book just feels more personal than her previous books. She responded that this book is, in a sense about her and her husband. She said, “Kissing Kosher is most definitely inspired by my own story. I developed IC (interstitial cystitis) in 2020, and was not able to be intimate with my husband. Avital and Ethan’s story is very much our story, including finding a rabbi who owns a medical cannabis dispensary! But also, finding their way to safe and pleasurable sex, after this life changing diagnosis and experience with chronic pelvic pain. Ethan’s goodness is also very much based around my husband. We all deserve to be valued, appreciated and adored, no matter what. But more than that, society has a tendency to undervalue disabled people. It’s important to remember that Avital saves Ethan–helps Ethan through his emotional pain and struggles–just as much as he helps her through her physical pain.”
Of course there is a happy ending. Meltzer (and her fans) wouldn’t have it any other way. But the joy is making the journey with Avi and Ethan as they find the road that they must travel to get to their happy ever after. And we all are the better for having followed along on their travels.
This review was first posted on Bookreporter.com.