The cat on the cover did it—I knew “Starter Villain” by John Scalzi was a book I wanted to read. Even if the cats weren’t the center of the plot. But to my delight, the cats were magnificent! And the dolphins were hysterical, in a tough-guy kind of way. But the substitute teacher, first person narrator Charlie Fitzer, is just a wonderful main character. The kind of guy we really root for and we want to attain his dream.

At the start of the novel we learn that Charlie was laid off from his job as a business reporter for the Chicago Tribune, and because of a divorce is back in the house he grew up in in Barrington, Illinois. I can picture the house he is living in partly because of Scalzi’s description and partly because I grew up in Barrington and know where Cook Street is.

Unfortunately, the house Charlie is living in, the house he grew up in, is not his. When his father died, the house was left to Charlie and his three much older siblings. Charlie’s mother died when Charlie was young, and he grew up not really knowing the siblings from his father’s first marriage. Now the house should be sold with Charlie getting one-quarter of the proceeds, but Charlie is in no hurry. He’s living there and not paying rent, just the taxes and upkeep. And even that is difficult on the salary of a substitute teacher, which is all he’s doing as journalist jobs are few and far between.

Charlie doesn’t live alone, though. When a beautiful orange and white cat wandered onto his property, he invited her in and they’ve been companions ever since. So when he hears a small orange and white kitten meow in the bushes on his way home from an appointment, he brings her home to meet Hera, the cat in residence. Waiting for him is a stranger sitting on his porch, and little does Charlie know that from that moment on, his life will not be the same.

Mathilda Morrison explains that she worked for Charlie’s uncle Jake, who recently died. Charlie didn’t really know his uncle, his mother’s brother, and only knew that he was some kind of billionaire and had made a fortune in parking garages. Morrison explains that his uncle would appreciate it if Charlie would stand in for family at the funeral, which will take place in Barrington. And it’s at the funeral where we realize that Uncle Jake is not your garden-variety billionaire.

What Charlie comes to understand is that Uncle Jake was also a villain, and that he had left Charlie in charge of his villainous enterprises, which are located on a volcanic island in the Caribbean. And by this time, we have realized that Scalzi’s entertaining narrative is not just gripping but also filled with humor. We also realize that Scalzi knows his cats and cat-appropriate behavior. When Morrison is leaving Charlie’s home after he agrees to be at the funeral service, she tells him, “Don’t get up. Your cat just got comfortable.” As anyone with cats knows, when the cat is sitting on your lap, you really can’t get up until he or she does. Scalzi played it right.

We really come to like Charlie. He’s a very intelligent guy, but at the same time very humble. What he really wants at the start of the novel is to buy a restaurant and pub that are up for sale in Barrington. He thinks he’d like to run the pub and greet people, be around people a lot of the time. But at several million dollars, that’s out of his reach. And then he’s on a Caribbean island in his uncle’s volcanic villain lair dealing with other billionaire villains who, unsurprisingly, are really not very nice.

The humor really makes this novel zing. The talking cats who act as spies, the smack-talking dolphins who want to unionize, and the cutthroat villains who are not as clever as they think they are, all keep us engrossed in this fast-paced, extremely clever story. Charlie, although a “mere” substitute teacher and not villainous at all, kindhearted and a lover of cats, holds his own with the bad guys.

Toward the end, I wondered if this was just going to be the start of a series, because I didn’t know how it could end with so few pages left to read. But Scalzi’s ending is just brilliant. It’s perfect in so many ways and without any overt spoilers, that I’ll just say that I love cats. I also love Charlie, a character with so much moral fiber, so much kindness, and so clever, that he deserves what he gets.

Please note: This review is based on the final, hardcover book provided by the publisher, Tor Books, for review purposes.